WOHM TO SAHM: WORKING OUTSIDE THE HOME MOTHER TO STAY AT HOME MOTHER

I stumbled across this chart from a blogger who titles herself as “The Transformed Wife”.  Just from viewing her FB page and her blog I am sure that she would not approve of me being a single mother—the whole fornication and not being chaste thing 😉.  On her blog she posted a diagram that I assume she wrote attempting to compare/contrast mothers with careers and mothers who “don’t have careers.”   Reading the diagram gave me pause.  Initially I was upset with the depiction of mothers who work outside the home.  Then I became upset at the assumption that being a stay at home mother is not considered a career choice.  As I perused the diagram further the assumptions that were made about both Stay at Home Mothers and Mothers Who Work Outside the Home was infuriating because I was guilty of some of them 😔.

The only personal example I have of the SAHM life is my cousin Bethany.  First let me say If you aren’t following her on YouTube you are missing out on a treat, she’s on a slight hiatus right now with her new babies—2 little girls and her new business—Texas Reign.  However when she is back on YouTube you will find that she’s hilarious, a bit country, and very resourceful.  You can check out her previous vlogs here.  After I had my son and had to return to work my jealousy of her only increased.  At first I was jealous of her for 3 reasons:

One: Her hair:  When I tell you that her hair is gorgeous and grows with a fierceness I’m not lying and so do her nails.  I swear her hair is on steroids or something!  It’s grows quick and thick.  I don’t know where she got those genes.

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​Two: She’s very pretty and photogenic:  Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I’m ugly by any stretch of the imagination but her smile is infectious and dazzling.  In addition to that she has this baby fresh youthful face that will serve her well when she’s my age 😊.   I mean look at her!

Three:  The girl is creative as heck!:  She made an activity board for my son to play with from scratch.  She and her husband made a chicken coop from scratch.  Right now I think she and her husband are making a playground for her oldest daughter.  She also makes bath soaps her business is called Texas Reign Artisan Soaps. She can draw, paint, do her own hair!  She is a true Renaissance woman!

​Now I had to add a fourth reason: She has the ability to be a stay at home mom while I don’t.  I would love the be able to stay at home and raise my son, however that is not a possibility for me long term as a single mother who is not independently wealthy.  ​I would dream that her days at home were better than my days at work.  I would imagine that she was cooking delicious meals from scratch for her family every day while I was reheating food precooked on the weekend if I was lucky or getting fast food if the meal didn’t cover the whole work week or I didn’t have time to preplan.  I imagined that she was more rested than I was and was able to engage more with her child. 

I realized that subconsciously I was guilty of making assumptions just like the “Transformed Wife”.  While the grass appears greener on the other side it wasn’t.  I soon realized from the brief conversations that she and I were able to have with both our hectic schedules that we have a lot in common in adapting to our new roles as mothers.  Often there is a pitting of SAHM (Stay At Home Mothers) against WOHM (Working Outside The Home Mothers).  Motherhood is not a competition; it’s a journey to be shared with others.   As I have temporarily changed my role from a WOHM to SAHM I am blessed to enjoy this new season of my life and I truly cherish the gift and opportunity realizing the grass isn’t greener on the other side it’s just different and has to be cared for differently.