As a single mother my attention is constantly divided I must admit between my work obligations and my family obligations. I am far from perfect and at times I feel that my work obligations can sometimes begin to overtake my family obligations if I’m not careful. This past week was a blessing and joy for I had the pleasure of just focusing on my family for 1 full week with no distractions!
My village of supporters (Geechi and PopPop) had to go out of town for 1 week andI was therefore left to my own devices with LO in tow. Thanks to saved vacation time I decided to take a week off from work to spend unfettered time my son. Sometimes I get so used to help that I forget I am a capable mother and can do this on my own like millions of other women do. This week was just as much a needed time for them as it was for me to remind myself of my capabilities as a mother. As we departed my parents house and made our way back to my home so many things ran through my mind.
"What in the he-- are you doing?" "Did you pack everything?" "Did you remember his medicine?" "Do you think you have enough diapers?" "I have no groceries in my house!" "Did I clean out my in basket enough?" "YIPEEE!" "Are we going to have fun?" "How am I going to get the laundry done?" "Do I have enough gas?" "Did I bring enough toys?" "Am I going to be able to cook healthy meals with him?" "I want this week to be perfect!"
We pulled up to the house and into the garage. I turned the car off. Looked at my little one in the mirror and he smiled. I got him out of his car seat and he walked out of the garage into the drive way and turned around and looked back at me. We stared at each other for what felt like eternity but may have been about 1 minute and then we both laughed. Our week had begun!
Time with Jeremy flew by--we played games, talked to each other, sang songs, ran around the house, visited with friends, went to the zoo, spent time at the library, rested, but mostly we spent time just hugging and kissing each other. I think he needed this as much as I did. I learned from this week that its okay if the laundry gets behind a bit, it's okay if we eat out a bit more than I or the pediatrician would like, it's okay if I didn't finish my blog post, it's okay if my in basket gets cluttered at times, it's okay if my I haven't had a chance to do my nails or my pedicure, it's okay to be imperfect because in the end he just wants me!
Embracing my imperfection and striving for perfection through grace.