So my boyfriend of 1 year and 5 days broke up with me. I could rant and rave about it. I could blog about what kind of person breaks up with someone via text message. I could wallow in how devastated I was when I saw the message this morning at 6am as I was getting ready to go workout, and a myriad of other emotions but that’s not the purpose of this post. 🧐
I want to talk about how much growth I saw in my reaction and response. Before, I would have tried to call or text asking “why” in an misguided attempt to “seek closure”. Then I would have blamed myself, looked to see what I did wrong or ponder (over a bowl of ice cream 🍨topped with a Pepperidge Farm apple turnover 🥧) “why can’t I keep a man”. In my much younger destructive days I would have behaved a bit like Lisa and burnt some things 🤦🏾♀️.
But at 40 with much introspection and growth I can look at the events that have transpired in the last 48 hours and be proud. When I went through a breakup before I wanted to seek closure from the other person. I wanted to dissect the relationship and determine why it didn’t work. All under the auspice of trying to “learn from past relationships before moving on”. Learning from mistakes is important for growth; however as In aging and my experience I have realized the power I would inadvertently give over by relying on someone else to provide me the closure that I seek. It left me bound, dependent, and often disappointed. So this time I had my cry because I have to acknowledge the grieving process, put on my workout clothes to “walk my mile long runway” (i.e. exercise), I prayed and talked with God, I began the blocking process to make the grief process easier, and then I packed up the items in my house that reminded me of our relationship and got it ready for shipping. Purging is good for the soul! 📦📫
I know my worth and how I deserve to be treated. I have learned how to let go of what does not want to treat me right. Priceless!! 💚🍋
Embracing my imperfection and striving for perfection through grace.