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The Best Coffee Shop Around During the Pandemic

9/29/2020

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The one saving grace for me during the pandemic is that my favorite coffee shop never shut down.  They were taking orders during the height of the closures.  Only a few minutes from my bed this coffee shop has the best barista around; he started off a bit unconventional in the beginning.  He used to put many types of objects in the coffee for added flavor however he has since grown to a state of happiness with perpetual stirring of the coffee.
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Of course I’m talking about my little one!  It is so much fun to share “coffee time” with him.  I will say before the pandemic it was the highlight of my weekend but now that I’m off one day during the week and working virtually 2 days it’s like 5 days of morning bliss.  I have learned 3 things from him that I endeavor to never let go.
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No 1

Appreciate the small things.  For him an act that before was an auto pilot part of my morning has become a special ritual involving the moving of his step stool into position not only with flare but with pleas “You not do anything mommy!  Hands in the air you not do anything.  Jeremy has to get his step stool!”  The fervor with which he talks brings a smile to my face and joy in my heart. 

No 2

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Be prepared for the unexpected.  Early on in his barista career, he loved to put surprise items in the coffee, ostensibly for added flavor or just to see what happened but luckily he grew out of that phase.  But definitely being on my toes and aware of his quick movements save many a great cup of coffee from having an added bonus.  Being prepared of the unexpected.

No 3

Savoring the scent is something I love to do before I take my first sip in the morning.  However smelling coffee with my little barista take smelling coffee to a whole other level.  The joy with which he squeals as he comes up with various ways the coffee smells (usually mostly nice things) is a joy but it prompts me to think of things and to look and experience life from a different aspect.
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Coffee time is a fun time in our household and a time to take a moment in the rush of life to stretch and grow.
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3 Reasons I Chose to Become a Single Parent

9/26/2020

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I fully intended to have a child out of wedlock, however I never imagined that I would be raising a child in my own.  Signs that I missed in choosing my partner I finally saw before the birth of my child that showed me that he was not ready to be a parent.  I realized that I had to make a hard choice for the sake of my son.  There are some that will say I was wrong to make the choice to be a single parent and there are others that will agree.  While there were 3 reasons I made the decision I made they were rooted in one core realization and advice from my aunt.   


My aunt who is like a second mother to me said “When I became a mother all bull💩 stopped.”  She went on to say that everything she did and still does is with her child in mind.  She encouraged me to do remember that when it comes to my son I would have to make hard decisions often.   She encouraged me to always remember to put my child’s welfare at the forefront of every decision.  Who cares what others think or say, she told me.  Who cares what they think about decisions that are none of their business.  I encourage you to remember that when your are making your decisions.  


 I’ll admit that I missed the warning signs that others saw, namely my father and mother.  They say hindsight is 20/20.  However making the choice to be a single parent was the right decision for me and for my son.  Parenting should be a choice.  While creating a child takes a minimum two people raising a child takes a village.  I takes those who are dedicated and those who put the child’s interest and needs first.  


My first reason for becoming a single parent was that it freed me from the hassle of having to consult someone else in my parenting decisions.  That freedom is precious and priceless to me.  While friends and family questioned why I was not seeing financial support.  It was a natural and simple decision for me; the freedom to make decisions regarding my son with no interference is priceless.  It freed me from having to justify my actions with a co-parent that might not be able to set aside their own needs.


Secondly I realized that I did not want my sone to be treated or subjected to what I considered substandard treatment and care.  When my son’s father and I broke up I vowed that I would not let him dismiss our child in the manner that I had witnessed him dismissing his own but turned a blind eye to out of love.  After the birth of my son I watched and waited to see if he would change.  As Maya Angelou is quoted as saying “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”


Finally, while I officially come from a two parent household I was raised by a mother who functioned often as a single parent while my father was off working or in school pursuing his masters and PhD.  The bond that I have with my mother is tight and strong.  She is my first best friend.  That relationship that my other cultivated was that of a team.  We had to survive with each other and depend on each other.  I feel that my son will learn like I did that teamwork, dependability, and a sense of empowerment that he will gain from my own empowerment.  


I choose to be a single parent; while it’s the hardest and most important job I have it is the most gratifying and I’m thankful that my choice allows me to operate in peace.  A peace that no amount of money or financial support can buy.
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5 Pandemic Self-Care Essentials

9/16/2020

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The quarantine took a lot of us by surprise.  I anticipated that it would be coming however I never expected such a protracted period.  As reopening phases continue my family and I are still staying as quarantined as we can.  Which has left me searching for ways to engage in self-care when possible.

GiGi Honey Wax

One of the things that I miss about life Pre-COVID-19 was going routinely to get my chin threaded due to my hirsutism.  Hirsutism, if you are not familiar with the term, is abnormal hair growth on the face.  Hirsutism is a conditioned that I have suffered from since adolescence.  As an adult I have used a myriad of methods to address the abnormal hair growth on my chin.  The best methods that I have currently landed on is threading.  However the threading shops were closed and even as they are opening up it is not a place that I feel comfortable going to at this point.
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Early during the quarantine I discovered a review of GiGi Honey Wax and ordered it.  While I’m still learning my technique and I’m quite messy with it—Picture it HONEY WAX EVERYWHERE; it has become a can’t live without product that is keeping me sane and feeling a sense of normalcy during these trying times.

Yeouth 30% Glycolic Acid

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In my many attempts to address my hirsutism my skin has been left with areas of darkness called, hyperpigmentation.  I have tried turmeric masks and various skin products that have left me without any improvement.  Before COVID-19 I was looking into dermatologists to consider facial peels as a way to begin addressing this area of my skin that causes me much frustration.  During that time I was asked to try Yeouth’s 30% Glycolic Acid Gel Peel.  Slowly, over the months of quarantine but surely I have been noting more evening of my skin and lightening my hyperpigmentation.  I still have a ways to go but this is working well for me.

Pixie by Petra Vitamin C Juice Cleaner

If you you’ve been following me you might remember my previous post about my “No Water Skin Routine” not everyone was receptive but you know this mom is gonna do what she gotta do.  With things being scarce I was not able to get my usual Biore Charcoal Micellar Water so I decided to give Pixie by Petra Vitamin C Juice Cleaner a try.  It smells amazing.  I love how it makes my skin feel refreshed and soft.
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Photo by Jernej Graj on Unsplash

Laneige Lip Sleep Mask

My lip sleep mask is a must have.  Currently single I’m not doing much kissing of others but my little one does appreciate the softness of my lips when I’m tickling him with mommy kisses.  If you haven’t tried this lip mask you are missing out.

Baby Feet Foot Peel

Not being able to get a pedicure was driving me nuts until I remembered the Baby Feet Foot Peel I started using this past winter.  Boy were my feet baby soft all winter long.  I may have to polish my own toe nails but there is no reason why my feet can’t be baby soft while on quarantine.
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The Disney Movie I Said I'd Never Let My Child See That's Now A Family Favorite!?

9/10/2020

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Before my son’s conception and birth I was a Disney fan.  I cut my teeth on the likes of Pinocchio, Fantasia, Bambi, Snow White, and many others.  When I found out I was pregnant on of the many dreams I had was of passing my love of Disney to my little one.  I dreamed of taking him to Disney Land and Disney World and walking all over and being joyfully entertained with the in person recreation of characters that we love on screen.
In 2013 Frozen came out and took the world by storm.  “Let it Go” played everywhere and tons of children were singing it and I was disgusted.  Completely overloaded I made a vow then that of all the movies in Disney I would never let my child watch Frozen.
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Photo by Park Troopers on Unsplash
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 I know, I know, I know not a very realistic plan but it was still my goal.  From all the reviews I read at the time the movie had a magic of unparalleled magnitude that I did not want my child or I to fall victim to.
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Flash forward to this year; my little one using his iPad managed to rent Frozen on Amazon Prime.  We can talk about why I didn’t have safeguards in place to prevent him from renting and buying movies later.  My cure that he had watched it was him humming the melody.  Ahh it had happened!  One night when I said we could watch any movie he loudly announce “FROZEN!”  Icy terror gripped my heart.  I suggested Moana, The Little Mermaid, or another favorite of his Turbo.  “No,” he proclaimed he wanted Frozen.  Reluctantly I selected Frozen as he crawled into may lap.  I figured I would surf IG while the movie was on.  As the movie started the “Na na na heyana” stopped me cold.  I put the phone down and watched.  I immediately was transported back to younger days when at the age of 16 hearing the opening of the Lion King.  I was hooked.
Now we sing along the the songs and we watch it several times a day.  What I feared became true, my son and I have fallen prey to the wonderful magnitude of Disney Magic.  The same excitement and passion I had when I first watched the Lion King was now emerging in my little one.  While I know that his tastes may change and movies will come and go as his titled favorite; I will never forget us sitting nestled together in my brown leather chair, that I used to rock him to sleep when he was a newborn baby, as we discovered the magic of Frozen.
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I Will No Longer Just Say Their Names...

9/4/2020

 
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"Nina Scott, a graduate of Carrboro High School and an incoming UNC first-year, painted a mural on Sunday, July 12, 2020 honoring some of the Black women who have been killed." ~Alexandra Smith From The Daily Tar Heel
 I can not bear to say their names any longer they haunt my dreams.  Dreams turning into nightmares stealing into the day causing me to jump at shadows.  Through my pregnancy I hoped that would have a daughter and prayed that I would not have a son.  My son was born and my heart was elated but my worry began.  As he grows my worry grows and I am left helpless and powerless.
A war was waged in response to the outcry of the Jewish Community due to the atrocities waged by the Nazi population.  From 1941-1945.  What war has been waged to address the 400+ years of enslavement, lynchings, rape, marginalization, discrimination, unfair imprisonment, ‘recommended’ sterilization of blacks for sentence reduction, financial imprisonment, substandard schools and access to food, tainted water sources, sanctioned murder guised as police arrest tactics, sanctioned murder under the stench of “stand your ground” rights, approved assassination poorly camouflaged as “no knock warrants”, ad nauseam.
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I grow weary and tired.  I am weary and tired.  I am done in.
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So instead of saying their names I say the names of my elected officials.  I say their names as they come up for election.  Instead of miring in fields of hopelessness I entrench in the evidence of my elected officials—what policies they support, what record have they produced, what do they stand and fall for.  Instead of saying their names I will write to the leaders that I elect requesting action on behalf of those that have been lost.  I will write their names to those I elect to protect me and my family.  Instead of saying their names I will say the names of those that say they are my “friend” but remain silent as I live in fear.  Those “friends” who do not understand why I cry, why I am afraid, what it means to be an ally—I will talk with them educate them have the difficult conversations.  I will say the names of those who feel that they are too busy to vote, those who do not understand the value of voting. 
I will voice the names of those who are supposed to protect my family and call them to act.  I will voice the names of those who fail to act, who fail to enact, who fail to heed the call to action.  I will voice their names for those names that I cannot bear to say anymore. 

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    Embracing my imperfection and striving for perfection through grace.

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