Of course I’m talking about my little one! It is so much fun to share “coffee time” with him. I will say before the pandemic it was the highlight of my weekend but now that I’m off one day during the week and working virtually 2 days it’s like 5 days of morning bliss. I have learned 3 things from him that I endeavor to never let go.
Be prepared for the unexpected. Early on in his barista career, he loved to put surprise items in the coffee, ostensibly for added flavor or just to see what happened but luckily he grew out of that phase. But definitely being on my toes and aware of his quick movements save many a great cup of coffee from having an added bonus. Being prepared of the unexpected.
Coffee time is a fun time in our household and a time to take a moment in the rush of life to stretch and grow.
I fully intended to have a child out of wedlock, however I never imagined that I would be raising a child in my own. Signs that I missed in choosing my partner I finally saw before the birth of my child that showed me that he was not ready to be a parent. I realized that I had to make a hard choice for the sake of my son. There are some that will say I was wrong to make the choice to be a single parent and there are others that will agree. While there were 3 reasons I made the decision I made they were rooted in one core realization and advice from my aunt.
My aunt who is like a second mother to me said “When I became a mother all bull💩 stopped.” She went on to say that everything she did and still does is with her child in mind. She encouraged me to do remember that when it comes to my son I would have to make hard decisions often. She encouraged me to always remember to put my child’s welfare at the forefront of every decision. Who cares what others think or say, she told me. Who cares what they think about decisions that are none of their business. I encourage you to remember that when your are making your decisions.
I’ll admit that I missed the warning signs that others saw, namely my father and mother. They say hindsight is 20/20. However making the choice to be a single parent was the right decision for me and for my son. Parenting should be a choice. While creating a child takes a minimum two people raising a child takes a village. I takes those who are dedicated and those who put the child’s interest and needs first.
My first reason for becoming a single parent was that it freed me from the hassle of having to consult someone else in my parenting decisions. That freedom is precious and priceless to me. While friends and family questioned why I was not seeing financial support. It was a natural and simple decision for me; the freedom to make decisions regarding my son with no interference is priceless. It freed me from having to justify my actions with a co-parent that might not be able to set aside their own needs.
Secondly I realized that I did not want my sone to be treated or subjected to what I considered substandard treatment and care. When my son’s father and I broke up I vowed that I would not let him dismiss our child in the manner that I had witnessed him dismissing his own but turned a blind eye to out of love. After the birth of my son I watched and waited to see if he would change. As Maya Angelou is quoted as saying “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Finally, while I officially come from a two parent household I was raised by a mother who functioned often as a single parent while my father was off working or in school pursuing his masters and PhD. The bond that I have with my mother is tight and strong. She is my first best friend. That relationship that my other cultivated was that of a team. We had to survive with each other and depend on each other. I feel that my son will learn like I did that teamwork, dependability, and a sense of empowerment that he will gain from my own empowerment.
I choose to be a single parent; while it’s the hardest and most important job I have it is the most gratifying and I’m thankful that my choice allows me to operate in peace. A peace that no amount of money or financial support can buy.
The quarantine took a lot of us by surprise. I anticipated that it would be coming however I never expected such a protracted period. As reopening phases continue my family and I are still staying as quarantined as we can. Which has left me searching for ways to engage in self-care when possible.
GiGi Honey Wax
Early during the quarantine I discovered a review of GiGi Honey Wax and ordered it. While I’m still learning my technique and I’m quite messy with it—Picture it HONEY WAX EVERYWHERE; it has become a can’t live without product that is keeping me sane and feeling a sense of normalcy during these trying times.
Yeouth 30% Glycolic Acid
Pixie by Petra Vitamin C Juice Cleaner
Laneige Lip Sleep Mask
My lip sleep mask is a must have. Currently single I’m not doing much kissing of others but my little one does appreciate the softness of my lips when I’m tickling him with mommy kisses. If you haven’t tried this lip mask you are missing out.
Baby Feet Foot Peel
Not being able to get a pedicure was driving me nuts until I remembered the Baby Feet Foot Peel I started using this past winter. Boy were my feet baby soft all winter long. I may have to polish my own toe nails but there is no reason why my feet can’t be baby soft while on quarantine.
I know, I know, I know not a very realistic plan but it was still my goal. From all the reviews I read at the time the movie had a magic of unparalleled magnitude that I did not want my child or I to fall victim to.
I grow weary and tired. I am weary and tired. I am done in.
I will voice the names of those who are supposed to protect my family and call them to act. I will voice the names of those who fail to act, who fail to enact, who fail to heed the call to action. I will voice their names for those names that I cannot bear to say anymore.
Embracing my imperfection and striving for perfection through grace.