In my many attempts to address my hirsutism my skin has been left with areas of darkness called, hyperpigmentation.  I have tried turmeric masks and various skin products that have left me without any improvement.  Before COVID-19 I was looking into dermatologists to consider facial peels as a way to begin addressing this area of my skin that causes me much frustration.  During that time I was asked to try Yeouth’s 30% Glycolic Acid Gel Peel.  Slowly, over the months of quarantine but surely I have been noting more evening of my skin and lightening my hyperpigmentation.  I still have a ways to go but this is working well for me.

If you you’ve been following me you might remember my previous post about my “No Water Skin Routine” not everyone was receptive but you know this mom is gonna do what she gotta do.  With things being scarce I was not able to get my usual Biore Charcoal Micellar Water so I decided to give Pixie by Petra Vitamin C Juice Cleaner a try.  It smells amazing.  I love how it makes my skin feel refreshed and soft.

Before my son’s conception and birth I was a Disney fan.  I cut my teeth on the likes of Pinocchio, Fantasia, Bambi, Snow White, and many others.  When I found out I was pregnant on of the many dreams I had was of passing my love of Disney to my little one.  I dreamed of taking him to Disney Land and Disney World and walking all over and being joyfully entertained with the in person recreation of characters that we love on screen.

In 2013 Frozen came out and took the world by storm.  “Let it Go” played everywhere and tons of children were singing it and I was disgusted.  Completely overloaded I made a vow then that of all the movies in Disney I would never let my child watch Frozen.

Flash forward to this year; my little one using his iPad managed to rent Frozen on Amazon Prime.  We can talk about why I didn’t have safeguards in place to prevent him from renting and buying movies later.  My cure that he had watched it was him humming the melody.  Ahh it had happened!  One night when I said we could watch any movie he loudly announce “FROZEN!”  Icy terror gripped my heart.  I suggested Moana, The Little Mermaid, or another favorite of his Turbo.  “No,” he proclaimed he wanted Frozen.  Reluctantly I selected Frozen as he crawled into may lap.  I figured I would surf IG while the movie was on.  As the movie started the “Na na na heyana” stopped me cold.  I put the phone down and watched.  I immediately was transported back to younger days when at the age of 16 hearing the opening of the Lion King.  I was hooked.

Now we sing along the the songs and we watch it several times a day.  What I feared became true, my son and I have fallen prey to the wonderful magnitude of Disney Magic.  The same excitement and passion I had when I first watched the Lion King was now emerging in my little one.  While I know that his tastes may change and movies will come and go as his titled favorite; I will never forget us sitting nestled together in my brown leather chair, that I used to rock him to sleep when he was a newborn baby, as we discovered the magic of Frozen.

 I can not bear to say their names any longer they haunt my dreams.  Dreams turning into nightmares stealing into the day causing me to jump at shadows.  Through my pregnancy I hoped that would have a daughter and prayed that I would not have a son.  My son was born and my heart was elated but my worry began.  As he grows my worry grows and I am left helpless and powerless.

A war was waged in response to the outcry of the Jewish Community due to the atrocities waged by the Nazi population.  From 1941-1945.  What war has been waged to address the 400+ years of enslavement, lynchings, rape, marginalization, discrimination, unfair imprisonment, ‘recommended’ sterilization of blacks for sentence reduction, financial imprisonment, substandard schools and access to food, tainted water sources, sanctioned murder guised as police arrest tactics, sanctioned murder under the stench of “stand your ground” rights, approved assassination poorly camouflaged as “no knock warrants”, ad nauseam.

So instead of saying their names I say the names of my elected officials.  I say their names as they come up for election.  Instead of miring in fields of hopelessness I entrench in the evidence of my elected officials—what policies they support, what record have they produced, what do they stand and fall for.  Instead of saying their names I will write to the leaders that I elect requesting action on behalf of those that have been lost.  I will write their names to those I elect to protect me and my family.  Instead of saying their names I will say the names of those that say they are my “friend” but remain silent as I live in fear.  Those “friends” who do not understand why I cry, why I am afraid, what it means to be an ally—I will talk with them educate them have the difficult conversations.  I will say the names of those who feel that they are too busy to vote, those who do not understand the value of voting.