This is so key.  It’s the biggest hurdle to remember.  No matter how comfortable they tell you to make yourself.  NEVER forget it’s their house not yours.  They have their own way of doing things, organizing things; they have their own routine and respecting that is key.  If you can’t respect that then get out because it won’t work.  When I started living with them I was used to putting my recyclable items in my house out on Friday because my bins would be empty from being picked up on Thursday.  Well, at my parents house their pick up day is Friday and depending on how busy he would be the recyclables would not be in place on Friday so I would just leave them in the garage as a reminder for me to dump them.  While it may seem trivial to you if you have a routine and way of doing thing and someone comes along to disrupt that I can cause unnecessary friction.  Once I understood that there was a pattern adjusting to pattern made life easier and happier.

Living with your ‘rents is not for the faint at heart, you should always have enough money to leave.  For me I still have my house.  A lot of people who know this ask why and also question why I don’t rent it out; and truthfully the main reason why is because if I want to leave it’s always an option.  While living is your parents is like marriage it’s not—there is no till death do you part clause to honor.  You can leave and you should always have an exit plan because the sanctity of the relationship with my parents is always more important than convenience.   My suggestion is that if you are living with your parents have some money set aside to move out if needed.  The other added benefit is it doesn’t leave you feeling trapped if things go sour.  So for me my house if my safety net and it also gives me a chance to give them a break and myself a break on weekends or during the week if I have off.

Yes your are grown and you can do whatever you want to however you still need to honor Rule #1.  I don’t stay out late.  If I do I let them know and ask if they mind.  Why?  Not because I have a curfew and not because I’m not an adult but because I’m respectful and I realize that they are my parents and they are going to worry no matter how hold I am.  Also me coming in late has the potential of waking them up which is rude.  We are not roommates these are my parents and this is THEIR house and I need respect that.  If it’s going to be too late then I come home the next morning and make other arrangements for a place to sleep. 

I use the term purposefully.  If you want to keep a happy home and happy family.  Talk to each other.  In any relationship communication is vital to a healthy relationship.  It is also vital in inter-generational living.  One thing I guard closely is my privacy (I know it seems odd with my social media presence).  But I do; however living with your parents it can be difficult to have privacy and also be respectful.  In your own place you can come and go as you please however living with your parents they care about you and are naturally and in some aspects rightfully going to ask about where you are going.  So I’ve learned and they have learned that there is a line.  I give them enough information so that if something happens they know where I am however they don’t kneed a blow by blow itinerary.  They have learned not to pry.  If I am forthcoming with the information vs trying to delay it then it doesn’t make it appear as though my parents are prying. 

Getting out of my parents house was an awesome achievement into adulthood.  Going back initially made me feel embarrassed until I realized that it does not matter what others think.  What matters is what I think and I think for me it was a necessary move and a smart move for my family.  For those that are contemplating this arrangement be it long term or short term I hope that my advice will help provide 

Confidence is a state of flux for me.  It’s something that I constantly work on.  Why you might ask?  1) There is are always days when your girl is just not feeling it.  2) I’m always trying to enlarge my comfort zone and that can leave me in new territory and unsure.  3) There are those in the word who seek to undermine one’s confidence either because their are jealous or because they are ignorant or a combo of both. 

While there is fluctuations in my level of confidence (85%-97%) there are certain things I do to keep my tank as full as possible!

1. ​Daily Prayer and Affirmations:  this is a process that starts the moment I become aware of being awake.  Before my eyes open I pray and thank God for His many blessings.  I pray for strength, patience , and confidence to embrace the present of the day.  I eventually wake up and then I say by daily affirmations—they change based on my mood but they center around reminding myself that I am worthy, that I am loved and that no woman is more beautiful than when she is loved.

2. Careful selection of influencers/friends: While the term “influencer” is not my favorite term I really can’t come up with another one but I have a few select influencers that I follow on social media.  I follow them because they inspire me.  Their content is uplifting, positive, and funny.  It’s said that if you are the smartest  person in the room then you are in the wrong room.  I am careful with who my friends are.  I select friends that are strivers and doers.  Those that I can uplift and who uplift me.  Intentionality is key in confidence rebuilding and maintenance. 

3. Enlarging my comfort zone: While the journey of increasing my comfort zone can undermine my confidence on a basic level.  The fact that there are things I’m comfortable doing now that I wasn’t before is a motivator for me.  I look at where I am in my life and what I’ve overcome and realize that I can overcome what is before me!  What a great confidence builder past success is.  It’s important to acknowledge your past success and even failures.  However, do not rest on those laurels and strive for progress. 

​4.   Share and Uplift others: I know you might be thinking wait how is my uplifting of others going to help build my confidence?   Those who feel good about themselves find it easy to encourage others.  Having a positive outlook in others will turn inward and you will see the positive in your own life.  It’s a form of paying it forward.  It doesn’t detract from you to support, encourage, or compliment someone else.  Their smile will reflect back to you.