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40 and an Ounce: Outfits to kick off my birthday

6/27/2019

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It was my birthday so you know I had to go into the closet and create a special look or two 😘. This year my birthday plans were pretty low key. I had lunch with a “friend” and dinner with my awesome family so I only needed two outfit changes.
For my late lunch outfit I drew inspiration from @GarnerStyle. However $300 dollar jeans were not in my budget. Thanks to Lane Bryant I was able to find something comparable in my price range. I’m wearing an 18P because ya girl is “shorty by nature”. I’m thinking about getting another pair in non-petite size to have a wider cuff. What do you think?

The top was courtesy from my closet from long ago. I’m not sure where I got it from but you can get a similar look here. I accessorized the outfit with a necklace from Zulily and earrings I’ve had for years. I pulled the necklace into the look with a cute and surprisingly comfortable pair shoes from Target and a lovely MKF purse from Zulily (don’t sleep on Zulily). But if you slept on Zulily here is a comparable purse also at Target that you can get while you pick up the shoes 😁
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Outfit Inspiration—Chasity Garner of Garner Style
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I purchased a few dresses from the Beauticurve x Lane Bryant collection when it initially launched but I saved one of my favorites for my birthday; the Beauticurve Animal Print Maxi Dress. I fell in love as soon as I saw it. I paired it with a structured black belt. kept the same comfortable Target shoes and MKF purse for a sophisticated yet comfortable look.  The best thing about this outfit is that it camouflaged the messy "love grip" from sticky messy little fingers!
With these looks my 41st is off to a fabulous and stylish start!
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Mama's Got A New Swimsuit!!!

6/26/2019

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Summer time has come and the pools have opened up! It’s the time for skin exposure. Getting my wardrobe ready for summer is fun and this year it called for new swimsuits. This year I decided to step out of my comfort zone and look for a two piece 👙. While I technically I have worn a two piece in the past it’s usually been a tankini style to cover my belly and rolls of fat. This year I vowed not to purchase a tankini and to purchase a true two piece and become more comfortable with my new body. On my hunt I found 2–one that was sporty and one that was sexy. I was done but a surprising one-piece suit caught my eye and begged to to be worn 😇
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TOP: LANEBRYANT
BOTTOM: Unfortunately the mathing bottom has sold out but if you want to kee the sporty look try this one  also from LANE BRYANT

FIRST 

My first stop in my search was Lane Bryant. Lane Bryant always has cute options and I was sure I would find a cute two piece that I would feel comfortable in. I found this one and fell in love! This has a Hawaiian and sporty feel that left me feeling exotic. It’s great for waterpark fun, playing with my little one in his wading pool, or just showing a bit of skin. I can even pair it with shorts or jeans for a relaxed at home feel.

SECOND

I have to admit I peeped this on two of my favorite influencers--@GarnerStyle & @CallieThorpe.  I loved the juxtaposition of the black and white and the idea of showing a some cleavage.  I was worried however about of how my girls would look.  Having breastfed for 18+ months and having a baby I still had some adjustments to make mentally about my new body and trying to “get my sexy back” and this was the swimsuit to do it.   While the look is sold out this is one that I would recommend that is on sale.
Of course this set sold out quickly however if still looking for a loos that has a bit of sass and sexiness try--

TOP:  ASOS
BOTTOM: ASOS
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BONUS

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Now truthfully I was done shopping after the first two; I mean how many swimsuits can a girl wear in one season. But when GabiFresh revealed her line I couldn’t resist this one. I grew up with Barbie and the idea to be a fatabulous Barbie needed to made into a reality!
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ONEPIECE: GABIFRESH 
Now I think all I need is a splash of water 💦, a martini 🍸, and a man to fan me and I’m all set. 🥰
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Celebrating Father's Day as a MIA--Mother In Action

6/12/2019

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For the last 2 years I have dreaded Father’s Day.  I felt that it served as a constant reminder that my son’s father is not ready to be a parent; not in a position to be a consistent presence in his life.  As the day drew near I would contemplate the day when he comes to me and asks where is his “father”.   The decision to protect my son from his father’s intermittent indifference and poor prioritization was a tough decision; but a necessary one. 
As a single mother of a son there is this stigma that we cannot raise capable, strong, emotionally healthy men.  I had so many well wishers tell me that if I was having a boy that the first thing I should realize is that I cannot raise a man on my own.  WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!!!! 
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What the heck!  No wonder I went into a slight depression when I took my newborn son home.  Here I am charged with raising a child on my own.  Which I was all fire ready and prepared to do and now I have a son the the haunting sound in the back of my mind was that you “cannot raise a man on your own”.  I prayed nightly and daily for strength.  Finally my prayers were answered through a conversation that I had with another mother.  She asked me to write down what attributes that I looked for in a good man. 
I began to rattle them off—dependable, honest, hardworking, responsible, independent, leader, listener, a lover, God fearing, on and on the list went.  As I wrote this list I realized immediately why she asked me to create this list.  All the things I listed were all the things and attributes that I have.  None of them were centered around any particular sexual orientation.  I began to cry.  Truthfully as I write this post and think back to that day I still cry.  It was a pivotal moment for me.  Yes I have a fears about raising a black male child in a society and climate that does not value his life but I can and will raise a son who will be a good man, a good father, a good husband.  The basis of all that I want him to be is rooted in one principle…LOVE
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Photo by: Jennifer DiDio Photography
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Photo by: Jennifer DiDio Photography
So I no longer fear Father’s Day; and I am even looking forward to celebrating it this year!  Because it’s not a reflection of something that my son is missing but of what I can provide him.  Love unconditional. his “father’s” absence is a reflection of my strength.
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