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In the age of electronic marvel having a child raises the questions of what do I expose them to and when. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends avoiding screen media before the age of 18 months...WELL I EPICALLY FAILED THAT ONE! LOL. But aside from iPads, tablets, phones, etc what about his everyday toys? When he was younger my only worry was breast pump supplies, diapers, wipes, onesies, and giving him all the love that I could. As he has grown up I have delved into the land of toys. The landscape has become unrecognizable from what I remembered as a child; and to my parents it seems completely out of this world! Everything seems to have multifunctions these days, nothing seems to do just one task. Now of course, I exaggerate for the sake of dramatics but I don’t feel I’m that far off. Growing up I had this old hobby horse. I loved that hobby horse. I would get on top and I would bounce up and down or back and forth. I would pretend that I was a cowgirl riding in to save the town from the villain or that I was an Indian princess who was riding in to save my tribe from the silver tongued liar who aimed to take our land. (Too many westerns as a child mixed with an over heightened sense of fairness). My mom; seeing the love that my LO (little one) has for bouncing and jumping on things in addition to his love of westerns--acorn doesn't fall to far from the apple tree; set about looking for a hobby horse for my son reminiscent of the one she bought me. Mine had long since been lost in the many moves that our family has made from the south to the north. Unfortunately to our dismay we could not find one hobby horse (within a reasonable price point) that was single function. All the ones we found either lit up, made sounds, or sang songs. So the hunt began. I turned to my trusty phone (whatever did we do before smartphones 😊) and started searching and finally my mother came across one horse from amazon.com (Love Love Love this website! PS My #1 Mom Hack was creating and account and paying for prime membership it has saved me so much time and effort). *nonsponsored* So I bought the rocking horse thinking mistakingly that my loving father was going to put it together 😒 for his favorite grandson (never mind that he’s the only). Boy was I ever wrong!!!! So #blackgirlmagic to the rescue my mother and I assembled it and boy was it a treat. There is something magical for me as a parent watching my little one experience something new for the first time. Looking through this eyes with wonderment and pondering what he’s thinking as he touches, tastes, and eyes with slight skepticism a new exposure. Then add to that the knowledge that his experience was something that I lovingly put together with my own two hands, fingers, and sweat—yes there was sweat! I know that he will encounter technology and he is exposed to electronic marvels daily but I find that sometimes the simplicity of certain toys leaves his mind open to exploring all the marvel of his mind and imagination. And the opportunity to physically put his toy together with the added benefit to play with him and watch his mind expand is like relieving my childhood all over again!
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REVELATION...As I started praying and meditating I kept hearing “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9. I continued to marinate on that scripture as I struggled in my new role as a working mother; while still trying to maintain my identity as a daughter, friend, physician, and sister.
Then (in quiet bathroom meditation and reflection—you gotta fit it in whenever you can) I came across 2 Japanese concepts Wabi-Sabi and Kintsukuroi. Wabi-Sabi as I understand is a way of living realizing there is beauty in imperfection. While Kintsukuroi is the process where broken pottery or ceramics are repaired with gold or silver and that object is more beautiful due to its imperfection. Perfection, a state of flawlessness that we all try to achieve, began to take on a new form and meaning for me. From childhood I was taught “Practice makes perfect.” Perfection then became my goal, my benchmark. But what if the concept of perfection was not prosaic; what if it were fluid? What if it wasn’t predicated on flawlessness but was rooted in something more? I have strived and continue to strive to “press toward the mark” {Philippians 3:14-15} of perfection in the static sense. However as I live my life as a whole, not a part, and as I press further in the scriptures God is revealing to me that there is beauty and treasure in my imperfectness. I am a broken vessel and God in His wisdom, love, and grace is consistently repairing me with precious metals and I become more beautiful in my brokenness, a more perfect reflection of His grace. TRIBULATION...As I started my new role as a single working mother I felt alone and an immense pressure to do everything right. Definitely not how I had envisioned my life or even planned my life. I was raised with the idea of a certain order of things and truly thought that I had achieved that vision but circumstances being what they were and human nature being what it is I found myself in a unique position for faith growth.
As a doctor I innately have a very Type A personality. Motherhood only intensified my type A tendencies. The struggle to have it all was (actually still is) intense and seemed to get the better of me (sometimes still does if I'm completely honest). Feeling often that I was not meeting the needs of anyone-my child, my parents, my friends, my patients, my coworkers and of course lastly myself. These feelings took me to a dark place. I’ve cried in the bathroom, had many sleepless nights (not due to the Little One {LO}) but due to worry about meeting and needs and succeeding in goals that I had set for myself and accomplishing the demands of my jobs both in the home and outside the home. I prayed for strength and revelation. As I started praying and meditating I kept hearing “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9. STAY TUNED FOR PART 2: REVELATION |
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